Personal Testimony arising from a visit to ECG

Printer-friendly version

By Clara

Having been to ECG in 2008, I knew what to expect when I went again in 2009.  However, I certainly didn’t expect the life-changing experience I had whilst there.

It was the Wednesday night of the week and I was listening to a speaker in the Main Arena, Gavin Calver, and I was truly moved.  I sat there, quite calmly at first, listening to what he was saying about how important God was in his life.  Suddenly I felt myself welling up inside and before I knew it I was in tears.  Never have I felt such powerful emotion.  I was suddenly aware of just how much God loved me and how much I didn’t deserve his love.  My mind had a complete revelation, and I realised how much in the past year I had put myself before God and how much I had pushed him out of my life.

For the past year I had been coming to church every Sunday, and coming to youth group and youth band every week, but it felt as if I hadn’t really been there.  I felt as if I had been leading some sort of double life – being passionate about God when in church and at youth group and band, but being unaware of God outside of these situations.  I felt as if, whilst I had been at college and with my friends outside of church, I had been setting aside my faith, and I knew that these people wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between someone who wasn’t a Christian and me.  And I knew instantly that this was wrong.  People should be able to see the difference in your life, and be able to tell that God is working through it.  I knew that I had been not speaking openly about my faith, afraid to show my passion for God, afraid of people’s judgement, afraid that I wouldn’t be accepted.  But whilst sitting there, it hit me, the only judgement I should be worried about is God’s.  It was at that moment when Ruth came over to me, laid a hand on my shoulder and spoke into my ear, “God says he doesn’t judge you, Clara” – and I knew from that moment that I was not worthy of God’s love, and all I wanted to do was to devote myself eternally to praising God’s name, to tell everyone I could about how amazing God’s love really is.

During the course of the night, I had several people pray for me, and quite a few of them told me that they believed God has a plan for me. And although I didn’t know what God had planned for me overall, I knew that, for now, the best I can do for God is to tell everyone in my life who doesn’t know him all about his awesome love, and the awesome impact he can have in your life.

I now truly do want to live solely for God.